Cumbria Storage Systems Ltd sells all manner of storage and handling equipment, such as warehouse racking, sack trucks, and hot melt glue guns.
www.cumstore.co.uk
If this world made sense, that website would sell something else - a fluid that has spilt on many computer keyboards. Infertile men and lesbian couples could buy a pint of active man-juice from the comfort of their own Dell. Orders would be a pick-and-mix affair: a typical purchase might contain 12 ounces Irish, 5 ounces Aryan, a splash of Welsh, and a lemonade top. Cocktail umbrellas would be extra.
Not content with a silly website name, Cumbria Storage Systems have based themselves in the town of Cockermouth. Perverts.
It's a shame they didn't have the balls (snigger) of the National Gamete Donation Trust, whose genuine sperm-donation site Give A Toss coaxes visitors with downloadable desktop wallpapers, spunky facts, and an adorable game called the Toss-O-Meter. The Meter is charged by moving the mouse in a wanking motion so rapid it would cause friction burns on a real member, while being egged on by a jaunty tune and girls in "I want your sperm" t-shirts. Move over, Grand Theft Auto IV.
www.giveatoss.com
Thanks to Anon for the Cockermouth info (see post below)
SCREENSHOT